This morning I woke up. I had a good night of sleep for once. I woke up with full pride and hope about this whole day. Today is my great grandma's birthday. She isn't with us anymore, but she would've been 101 years old today. My mom was talking to me last night and told me she didn't know if I remember much about her. I remember enough to know that she was a great person, and I know she loved me. My mom said she was literally like an angel. She was quiet, peaceful, never bothered anyone. She would do anything for anyone. My mom swears her and my grandfather should've been born in the same family. Both of them died in my house. Today, when I woke up it felt like they were both there telling me I was gonna be okay and today was gonna turn out as it planned.
Unfortunately, I went online and I started to have a freak out. I just stopped about 20 minutes ago. I was throwing stuff, screaming, and talking to myself. Not really to myself. I think I was talking to someone. Weather it was the person who broke my heart, God (if he even really exists), or my deceased family members. I think it was a combination of them all. All I wanted was for someone to listen. Obviously the first person didn't listen. But the other three could have. For some reason I randomly calmed down. Like I didn't even want to cry at all, I stopped. Maybe today will end up being okay.
I'm gonna be positive. There's nothing else I could do. But at the end of the day, if I'm still where I have been the past two days, I can promise anyone that I'm gonna be okay. I almost didn't go to school again, but I'm gonna suck it up and go.
Just gonna keep to myself, and not get myself upset, and hope for a good day and for things to turn around.
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